Im ready to RELAX and swim

I love to swim but havent in over 7 years. One thing that hinders me greatly is my hair. At the present time my hair is natural. Meaning that I do not have a relaxer in my hair to loosen the texture and keep it straight. In order to straighten my hair I usually have to go through an extremely long process of washing, detangling, blow drying, and flat ironing my hair. It normally takes me about 4 hours from start to finish. But, my hair will only stay straight if i keep water from touching it and try to avoid humidity (which is virtually impossiible). So...(drum roll please), I have decided to put a relaxer in my hair. I want to swim again without worry. I want to be able to go to the beach on a hot humid day and not end up looking like a chia pet. Im super excited to take this risk. But, if my hair falls out imma be super salty, lol. My hair grows relatively fast for my ethnic group, but Im still not trying to have to loose any.  I need your prayers that my locks make it through this event. Once I relax my hair...I can relax and swim.
-Kelley 

For the love of..Pizza?

Came to work starving tonight!! I woke up and only ate a bowl of fruitloops and then went back to bed to nap before work. So naturally this means I would have to make up for this lack of nutrition by TOTALLY pigging out. And that I accomplished... A friend and I ordered Adriaticos Pizza, my favorite pizza in the area. Pepperoni. Breadsticks and sauce. Heaven. Only thing that could have satisfied me more is some graeters icecream. Naturally.

-Kelley 

So excited...

Im planning a trip for me and my babe for hopefully the week I have off from school in April. Im soooo excited.  Me and him were talking tonight about how we reallllly need a vacation. This will be our 5th yr of marriage and we have never been on a vacation alone, not even a honeymoon. So, I asked a very resourceful friend at work for suggestions and she led me to this beautiful spot!!  http://www.oakhavenresort.com/

The resort is full of 5 star cabins that you can choose from. Each cabin has a jacuzzi, balcony, and every amentity you can imagine. SCRORE!!
-Kelley 

Inspiration of the day...a MUST Read

This should probably be taped

to your bathroom mirror

where one could read it every day.

You may not realize it,

but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.

2.. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received...Forget about the rude remarks.

Good friends are like stars..........

You don't always see them,

But you know they are always there.

"Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though

Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway"

I would rather have one rose and a kind word

from a friend while I'm here

than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,

Trials keep You Strong,

Sorrows keep You Human,

Failures keeps You Humble,

Success keeps You Glowing,

But Only

God keeps You Going

-Kelley 

Preschool Jitters

Today at 11am Dinah will have her official evaluation to get into the preschool program at Princeton Schools. (Tear Tear), My baby is growing up. I'm excited that she is going into a new chapter of her life, the very beginning of her formal education. But, im also nervous about which program she will be placed into. Its no question that Dinah needs to be in a program that has special need accommodations. I just don't know to what extent they will go to accommodate her. I want her around children who are appropriate so that she can learn from them. But, i don't want her to be the only special needs child in the class. Its hard for me to imagine other kids pickin on her and staring at the pink wheelchair she will probably be in for a while. But, its inevitable. Kids will be kids.  I pray that everything me and her father have instilled in her will allow her to rise above any and all oppression. Dinah has already shown the world that she is unstoppable. Sigh...my baby is so strong. I need to take a lesson from her right about now. :-l
-Kelley 

First day of Med...PASS!

Today was our 4th week of clinicals.  It was also the first time that we have been allowed to pass medication to our patients.  And its wayyy overrated. Given, passing meds is a HUGE safety risk. Everyday in hospitals everywhere patients swallow the wrong pill, take the wrong dose, and suffer severe hypertensive reactions. And that's from the hands of registered nurses!! So imagine the risk of a brand spankin new nursing student...yeah HUGE liability. And huge responsibility. And I dont take that for granted.

So, scanned my patients wristband, told her what i was giving her, she popped the pill and I went on my merry little way. I came back to help her get washed up and asked her if she wanted the TV on...and it was no surprise that she did. The elderly usually love daytime TV. Ya know, shows like The Price is Right or Golden Girls. But not her. She stopped at the Jerry Springer Show and immediately went into a elaborate story about Jerry being from cincinnati (which I didnt know) and how she had known him before he was famous. She also talked about his "checkered past" which, from the wink she gave me, I gathered she had a small appearance in. Then she talked about his mistake of buying a call girl with a credit card. Apparently, men should NEVER buy a call girl with a credit card or personal check. Cash only. Makes sense to me I guess. As I helped her put on a new gown she rivaled at the fabric saying it was very "Dior-like". I responded, "Dior as in Christain Dior?" And she responded "well yes...who else would I be talking about?" I just smiled and let her ramble on about how the hospital gowns silhouette was suggestive of an early Dior design.


Ahhhh I love the elderly. They can be quite the storyteller as they dive back into their youth with some truth and many exaggerations. But Im really just happy she took her medication
:-)
-Kelley 

You will when you Believe

Kelley 

Giving up...not an option

Today was an epic day for me.
I sat for my very first exam of this semester and I passed...but just barely. Initially, during the review I miscalulated the points I would recieve and I seriously thought I failed. A huge part of me wanted to break down and cry like a baby. But, the deepest, truest part of me mustered the strength to take the situation in stride. I mean afterall, there are many people who didn't pass. People who studied just as hard as me if not more. And furthermore, Ive never failed a nursing exam so why would I be so close to giving up from just this occurence. That goes to show the power that the fear of failure can have on you.

So, I swallowed both my pride and a massive lump of frustration with a smile on my face...okay..maybe it was more like a snear..but its the effort that counts.


Imagine my surprise when I checked my grade online and I had indeed passed. I actually had to do a double take! Not only did I pass, but I was above the class average! Just goes to show that it is best to keep a positive attitude no matter what. You never know when things may change in your favor. :-)
-Kelley 

Mountain Dew what did you DO to me?!

I overdosed on mountain dew last night...no really I did.

Okay, maybe overdosed is not the right nomenclature. Perhaps I should say I misdosed? Oh...wait no. The dosing was correct...the timing was off.

Initially, I was going to stay up a little later than usual to get in some additional studying for my exam next week. So I inhaled (i.e.drank rapidly...no I don't sniff Mdew, lol) 20+ ounces to give myself a buzz of caffeine and sugar to stay alert and focused. However, my body somehow canceled that plan and I fell asleep...with a stomach full of toxic Mdew (yes, we all know its pretty toxic).

I tossed, turned, and hallucinated the ENTIRE night. You ever feel like you are asleep but awake at the same time? That is kinda what it felt like. I imagine that people "see" aliens during this type of state, because the mind is dreaming but the senses are still wired. I didn't see any aliens but I was convinced my alarm clock was gunshots! The worst part is that I had clinicals this morning so I drove to class feeling hungover and nauseous.

Oh Mdew how I love you....but we have to work out a different understanding in our relationship. You cannot keep hurting me like this. Sigh....I may have to leave you for coffee...I know, I know...I've been there and done that. But lets face it...coffee made my body feel better...I know, low blow. Okay...ill put it like this.  I just need something different. My body is pretty sensitive and you are really aggressive on my system. You need someone who can handle you. Its not you...its me.
-Kelley 

I've Got a Feeling...

That TONIGHTs gonna be a good night...
Tonight something is happening that is very rare.  I get off work at 11pm!!!  Imagine my surprise when I looked at my BB calendar and it stated that i come into work for a E2 (7pm-11pm). I did a quick dance and everything.
So, heres the plan:
1.) Get off work @11. No, literally. I hope to be standing at the clock at 10:59pm to swipe out as soon as the clock strikes 11.
2.) Stop at Krogers and pick up some Toffee Chip icecream. Quite naturally. Whats a true celebration w/o icecream?
3.) Surprise Dinah with my being home to put her to bed. (Yes, she goes to bed late...but she cant help it with both of her parents having such late schedules)
4.) Study, study, study. Take notes. Listen to lectures.  Nuff said.
5.) Spend quality time with  my love.
Yeah a great night it shall be :-)
WHOOHOO....
-Kelley 

For the LoVe of "Quotes"

"There are no mistakes, save one: the failure to learn from a mistake."
- Robert Fripp

'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -Robert Frost

"Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you."~ Aldous Huxley

"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can't, I give myself reasons why I can."~ Unknown

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly."

~ Richard Bach

"A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn. "
~ Unknown
-Kelley 

CODE BLUE

I had FINALLY started to study when procrastination came back to bite me in the butt.

I was sitting at the HUCs desk relieving her for lunch when suddenly a patient in my pod started to go down hill. In the process of being switched over to a different ossilator, she started to desat and her blood pressures dropped. Unfortuantely for me, since I was covering for the HUC, I had to page a million fellows, RTs, attendees, etc AND run around getting the code stuff.  Thank God for the PCAs from other pods that came to assist me. In the PICU, teamwork makes the dreamwork. As much as I get annoyed by this job I can honestly say that whenever there is a crisis the staff work together fluidly. Its all about changing the outcome for our patients.


Codes can be very hard to watch. There is blood. There are screaming parents. There is a kid trying to die. It is scary that I've almost become numb to them. When I first started here over a year ago codes bothered me deeply. I couldnt stand to see children die traumatically and the family members breaking down in the process. As a healthcare worker it is very important to be able to keep your cool during emergent situations.  I am thankful that I have acquired some type of buffer that enables me to stay on my toes under pressure BUT I dont ever want to loose my empathy for our patients and families. My daughter coded and almost died several times. I was the parent watching my child be recusitated. Ive lived on both sides of the equation. 

Thankfully, the patient made it through another code.
Tragically, a measurable amount of studying was not achieved.
-Kelley 

Procrastination at it's finest

SO...
Ive been procrastinating.
Since arriving at work I've pretty much been conversing about blogging. And now....Im blogging.  But to make things better I am in the process of downloading my lectures so i can listen to them. You know...while I blog. Multitasking is a gift from God!

I take peace in knowing that once I actually get started I'll be on a roll. I actually LOVE to study.  I have a secret nerd gene in me that I try to suppress but its comes out then and again. I guess I should be a little more clear and state that "I love to study nursing." And the fact that reading is a hobby of mine helps as well. But, the fact that I love writing does NOT help...because that leads me here in the belly of procrastination...blogging.
-Kelley 

Long Night Ahead

So, i just woke up...like literally. My body is very clearly on an extremely awkward schedule. I work 3rd shift and I go to school during the day. So...I pretty much just catch up on sleep when I can.


I work tonight from 7pm-7am.  FUNtimes, lol.  Sometimes I dont mind going to work because it gives me a chance to clear my head and a few blocks of time to study.  Working in the PICU is an interesting event in itself.  I see alot, learn a lot, hear alot. But it can also be a HUGE pain in the butt. But its not the work thats a pain...but people...certain people.  I know, I know...people should not be an issue. And usually they are not...but every now and again I get sucked into the drama.  SIGH.  I know, all I need to do is change my mindset...change my world..yada yada


Anyway, Im about to give Dinah a bath. She desperately needs to be dumped in some clean water right about now. 


Then, I will race the clock to clean up the house, throw a load of clothes in the washer, get ready for work, pack my school bag so I can study tonight, feed Dinah, and then leave in enough time that I can stop at Chipolte before i head to work. Yes...this is pretty much the rundown of many of my busy days. Chipolte is always squeezed in though, lol.


So off i go...to face this long night.
-Kelley 

Playtime needs to be Over

So...I  literally spent the entire day messing around with this here blog. Its been so long since I've been on here that I forgot how to do even the basic things. I took a self guided refesher course that sucked!!!! I spent like 3 hours trying to figure out how to post a youtube video...actually i know how to post it but I had to troubleshoot to get it to work. Wheew!!!! 

Now Im sitting here contemplating my next move. I really need to do some reading for my NUR 150 Unit 1 exam.  Ive got just over a week to finish preparing for it. However, that probably wont happen tonight because someone volunteered me to watch my niece, Amiya. I Love spending time with her but when I have her and Dinah at the same time by myself i really cannot focus on anything else. So maybe me and the girls will play...and listen to my lectures lol. 

I have to also fit Dinahs therapy and exercises into the few hours left of this night. She has had her braces on all day so her legs should be stretched enough to try some standing. It is our goal to at least have her self-standing by her 3rd birthday, on February 24.  Once she is standing on her own it is only a matter of time before she is walking...and then running.  I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

The bright side about having a special needs child is that I learn patience and tenacity. I have to focus on her future and not just what she can or cannot do at this present time. She will walk...its only a question of time.

I think me being a nursing student helps a lot as far as Dinahs care and vice versa. I thought I knew everything about her condition (Cerebral Palsy) but I'm always learning new things that gives me strategy for her care. I truly believe no patient is EVER a lost cause. Until they take their last breathe...it is not too late. Working in healthcare, I sometimes find that people give up on patients when the prognosis is grim. But my child is a miracle and there are thousands more out there.  Faith is the best seed u can give to get a miracle.  All we had was faith when Dinah was was struggling for her life...and each other.

I hope to one day form a support group for mothers of premature children. It is a VERY devastating and traumatic experience. Its unnatural for a woman to give birth prematurely and often the body still craves to give birth because it feels like it did not accomplish that goal. It sounds crazy, but to this day I STILL feel like I never gave birth. I know I have a daughter. But, by her being born when I was only 5 months preggo by c-section, psychologically I have no recollection of a FULL birth.  I still deal with this everyday. I had to have therapy for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder...yeah it was that serious.  I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone but I am still thankful that God thought I was strong enough to handle it. It definitely takes special people to take care of children with special needs.  I KNEW I was special all along lol :-)

-Kelley 

Foods of Pleasure

Every woman has a few guilty pleasures...things that you eat or do that you know is not necessarily good for you but you're completely addicted to it. Many woman LOVE chocolate. I don't.  A lot of people even smoke when they are stressed. I never have. I am completely addicted to Chipolte and Icecream.

                     Chipolte Burrito Bowl                     

This was once filled to the brim with extra rice. Steak. Sour cream. Cheese. Chilli Sauce. And tobasco sauce to rev up the heat. A moment a silence in awe of the meal that was.

                                              

             Graeters Icecream

I literally shuffle in like an awestruck kid in a candy store. I come for the icecream though. Toffee Chip. I walk up to the booth to try new flavors and push the limits of my sanity pretending to contemplate getting something different. But the verdict is always the same. Oh, and I can also find my special friend at Krogers...sometimes even on sale!

MuSic Musings

So... I LOVE music...but really...who doesn't??


One of my favorite songs right now is "Promised Land" By Mario. Something about this song absolutely invigorates me.

I'm soooooo excited for some reason I can't even sleep after working 8 hours!

Catching UP

Dear God!!! I reallllly cannot believe that i have not posted anything on this blog in months!!! Oh wait, yes I can.....im a freakin mom, wife, fulltime goofer (aka nurses aide), AND a student nurse. Okay...so thats my excuse...I was busy so I didnt blog, lol.


Anywho, lets see, where to begin????


So, I started school aug 24, 2009 and i can genuinely say i loved my first semester. It was hard balancing everything and to be completely honest initially I put my life on hold to adjust to my school load. That included me putting my already tattered marriage on the backbunner. In hindsight that was a bad call because I really hurt my husband and a few other people close to me. Im thankful my husband loves me enough to forgive me for that VERY rough patch and still move forward with me. I lost a few friends in the process (not really because of school) and thats all good. IMHO, anybody that decides not to be my friend was kinda not really my friend to begin with. Right? Or maybe thats just what i tell myself to get over the trauma....probably so. But in the end I always have my family...and that is what matters.


But, getting back to the subject, I met some pretty awesome people in school that I hope will prove to be lifetime friends. I could name names but the list is short so the possibility of mass people being excluded are 100% guarenteed...and they know who they are anyway lol.


I made it out of the first semester with a solid B average which I cannot complain about. I am thankful that i made it and God showed me how to balance my life in the process. Life is all about balance. A complex juggling act! And Im becoming an expert juggler.




My beautiful niece was born in October. I love her so much!!! Its amazing how infants make u value life. I was a newborn, then, I was a toddler, so on and so forth. And look at me now. Im an adult full of purpose. So every child born is an adult full of purpose just waiting to happen. It makes u wanna do as much as u can to help children succeed. And I see both sides of the spectrum everyday. I work in the Pediatric ICU where I see infants and children die all of the time. Its very sad to see a purpose taken away from this world before it has ever had a chance to make itself known. Hopefully, I can use the platform of being a Nurse to make a difference.




Balancing work has been extremely difficult. I am now at the point where I stopped counting the days I wanted to quit. Not just because Im tired from school...I just get tired of attitudes. The nursing community is very clearly majority women and with women come gossip, jealousy, pettiness, immaturity, and so many different complexes!!! Sometimes i just need a vacation to regroup because being amongst all the nonsense sometimes rubs off and i dont even know who I am anymore. In addition to that, I tend to get very close to the wrong people for whatever reason. Now that people have been stripped from me (as uusal), Im content just keeping to myself now. And at the same time im bubbling with frustration. Ah...the JOYs of the contradictions in life, lol.


There have been a lot of changes in my household as well. My 17 yr old sister went back home. Both of my brothers were living with me. Now its just one of my brothers and his girlfriend and daughter that stay with me, my husband, and dinah. It often feels like "The Cosby Show." But i love my family and nothing makes me feel better than being around them. I think when it is actually just me, Velte, and Dinah one day Ill feel so odd. Or maybe Ill feel liberated...i guess ill see when (or if) that happens.


So.....now Im in my second semester that is rumored to be much tougher than last. So far Id say its just a lot more content. Not hard....challenging. And i LOVE a challenge. But, we shall see what i really feel about it as the semester progressively gets more complex. Im ready for the ride...or drive...whatever lol.


Hmmm there is probably somethings Im leaving out... Oh yea Im proud to say i have added yet another tattoo to my collection. To my husbands dismay i have a firm fixation on unique body art. But I told him I was done so imma try to stick to that...we'll see what happens lol.


Chipolte is my stress reliever. And icecream is my sanity. Thank god for a fast metabolism!!!