Sunday, April 25, 2010
A tired RANT
Okay I have to get this off of my chest. Im not normal. In fact im very far from it. I have an extremely inquiring, technical, curious, perceptive, deep, and pondering mind. I do not look at any object as just a physical entity. I look at an object and all at once wonder what it is made of, how it got here, whats its purpose, how it effects me, etc, etc, etc. Which means my mind is always racing....neurons always firing. I have always known that I was created this way. Even at a young age I questioned everything. I was always reading. Always soaking up knowledge. I yearn to understand this world we live in. I yearn to understand the grand purpose of it all. Yeah i know...religion supposedly explains it all. BUT, written doctrine only further confuses me. Too many contradictions. Too many gray areas. Im done with eating the bits and pieces of someone elses ideology. I want to KNOW the TRUTH for MYSELF. Perhaps everyone has a different truth. Perhaps there is no truth. You see how quickly my mind races? My gift of the quest for knowledge often feels like a curse. I often feel like im running through a maze with no way out. I answer one question only to be given 5 more. I am highly convinced that one day it will all make sense. One day every puzzle piece that is floating in my head will form a cohesive picture of TRUTH. Or maybe I'll come and go on this earth like the billions before me and just be apart of an inconclusive history.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Randomly Catching Up
Okay, catching up startingggggg NOW
1.) I feel slightly bad that I havent blogged in so long...SLIGHTLY. I've just been extra busy, extra stressed, extra frustrated...the usual. But, Im happy to say that things have been pretty good overall. School is a annoying the hell out of me and I am sooooooooooooo excited that in a couple weeks this semester will be O-V-E-R. Initially I was going to take one summer class but for a few reasons I changed my mind. Which translates to me having an awesome summer (so I hope). Im planning a roadtrip with a few coworkers of mine. Ive got a couple trips with my husband planned. And a handful of other events with my younger and older siblings. GASP...I may actually have fun this summer! Me? Fun? Havent really correlated those two words in a while...but the concept seems promising.
2.) Ive been in the gym. Ive been playing some major tennis. AND Ive been eating healthy. Which means I have given up my sweet addiction...icecream (teardrop). Not only is swimsuit season upon us, but I am set on keeping this body of mine fit and healthy for as long as possible. I still really dont understand how people can be in the health profession and KNOW the many habits that can kill them early and still do them. How can you teach a patient healthy habits when you dont follow them yourself? Im just sayin. Ignorance kills but apparently so does knowledge.
3.) I lost my wedding ring. My husband bought me a MUCH better one today. Probably only because I was getting hit on so much lol. Okay no...its because he is a sweetheart. :-)
4.) I have a new phone! Sprint Samsung Moment. Touchscreen. Android platform. I absolutely LOVE it. It is by far the best phone I have ever owned. Many times better than my old crackberry. Im pretty addicted...its like a freakin gameboy for adults! Lol.
5.) Oh yea...Im not tripping on people anymore. For F'in REAL this time. If you feel the need to ignore an attempt of mine at friendship just know it will NOT be offered again. Yeah...not EVER. Lifes too short to pause trying to befriend the world. Last time I checked friendship was supposed to flow naturally. Or not flow at all.
6.) Hmm...back to happy thoughts. Im loving this new sense of freedom in me. I want to do sooo many different things. I want to change my hair so many different ways. I want to travel. I want to redecorate my house. Im just ready to change. Im ready to experience things foreign to me. Im ready to grow.
7.) I really wonder if my life will ever go back to normal post nursing school. Ive become this frantic, constantly on edge person. Totally not me. I feel like Im trading my sanity for the opportunity to help people. I guess thats worth it right? As long as I dont become like some of the nurses Ive met who "eat their own young." Total jerks. Please God...anything but that! Really.
8.) Okay...I need to get back to studying. I have 2 exams next week. And 2 more the week after. HUGE exams. So needless to say I probably should NOT have been blogging. But I felt the need to catch up with whoever actually takes the time to read this. Sorry this was so random, but if you havent figured it out by now thats kinda my style of thought. Ive got a billion things on my mind at any given moment. Just be happy I can write my thoughts somewhat coherently.
Kelley :-)
1.) I feel slightly bad that I havent blogged in so long...SLIGHTLY. I've just been extra busy, extra stressed, extra frustrated...the usual. But, Im happy to say that things have been pretty good overall. School is a annoying the hell out of me and I am sooooooooooooo excited that in a couple weeks this semester will be O-V-E-R. Initially I was going to take one summer class but for a few reasons I changed my mind. Which translates to me having an awesome summer (so I hope). Im planning a roadtrip with a few coworkers of mine. Ive got a couple trips with my husband planned. And a handful of other events with my younger and older siblings. GASP...I may actually have fun this summer! Me? Fun? Havent really correlated those two words in a while...but the concept seems promising.
2.) Ive been in the gym. Ive been playing some major tennis. AND Ive been eating healthy. Which means I have given up my sweet addiction...icecream (teardrop). Not only is swimsuit season upon us, but I am set on keeping this body of mine fit and healthy for as long as possible. I still really dont understand how people can be in the health profession and KNOW the many habits that can kill them early and still do them. How can you teach a patient healthy habits when you dont follow them yourself? Im just sayin. Ignorance kills but apparently so does knowledge.
3.) I lost my wedding ring. My husband bought me a MUCH better one today. Probably only because I was getting hit on so much lol. Okay no...its because he is a sweetheart. :-)
4.) I have a new phone! Sprint Samsung Moment. Touchscreen. Android platform. I absolutely LOVE it. It is by far the best phone I have ever owned. Many times better than my old crackberry. Im pretty addicted...its like a freakin gameboy for adults! Lol.
5.) Oh yea...Im not tripping on people anymore. For F'in REAL this time. If you feel the need to ignore an attempt of mine at friendship just know it will NOT be offered again. Yeah...not EVER. Lifes too short to pause trying to befriend the world. Last time I checked friendship was supposed to flow naturally. Or not flow at all.
6.) Hmm...back to happy thoughts. Im loving this new sense of freedom in me. I want to do sooo many different things. I want to change my hair so many different ways. I want to travel. I want to redecorate my house. Im just ready to change. Im ready to experience things foreign to me. Im ready to grow.
7.) I really wonder if my life will ever go back to normal post nursing school. Ive become this frantic, constantly on edge person. Totally not me. I feel like Im trading my sanity for the opportunity to help people. I guess thats worth it right? As long as I dont become like some of the nurses Ive met who "eat their own young." Total jerks. Please God...anything but that! Really.
8.) Okay...I need to get back to studying. I have 2 exams next week. And 2 more the week after. HUGE exams. So needless to say I probably should NOT have been blogging. But I felt the need to catch up with whoever actually takes the time to read this. Sorry this was so random, but if you havent figured it out by now thats kinda my style of thought. Ive got a billion things on my mind at any given moment. Just be happy I can write my thoughts somewhat coherently.
Kelley :-)
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