LOVE MUSIC

Im studying...and actually ENJOYING it immensely...but ONLY because of the background music I am now playing...
Anita Baker
Luther Vandross
Brian McKnight
Sade
Babyface
Stevie Wonder
Michael Jackson
Whiteney Houston

Forget about the mess they play on the radio today...these artists above are THEE BEST..period

Sidebar: I am READY for this test monday. LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Stress...Its Whats for Dinner

Yikes!!! I've been super duper stressed lately. With my brutal Med-Surg class, brutal fulltime 3rd shift work schedule, and chaotic personal life....Ive been eating stress like it makes me healthy!! But, as a nursing student I know its doing the opposite. I got soooo stressed out one day I literally got sick at work and burst out in tears. Im so thankful for a great friend that was there...and the strength of God welling up inside of me. Being close to the edge is a SCARY thing...Ive been there enough that I should be used to it now...ya know...enjoying the scenery or something, lol.  Maybe one day lol...


I am happy to say that I have closed the chapter on a very detrimental "friendship". WhooHoo!! One less person to stress me out...less drama....win-win situation.


I've been blogging less to focus on that brutal class I was talking about...and trying to facebook less....


I've also been spending more quality time with my family..and myself. Because family now comes first with me.  School is VERY important, but the people I love are too precious to neglect. I learned that the hard way. And not taking care of myself creates a less effective me in all areas (thanks Sharon).


This post was more of a ramble more than a "blog." DONT judge me though...Im stressed.

Kelley 

Voices

Have you ever sat still long enough to listen? To the voice that speaks within? The sound of your soul crying out for something?

Everybody has different belief patterns. Some claim to have no belief (which I could argue is a belief in itself). But, I wholeheartedly believe that we all crave a connection with our creator (and if you feel you do not have a creator...what are u craving a connection with?). At some point you may feel a tug...a yearning for something more than what you can see with your eyes. For something more than what you can read in a book. Something outside of what is natural...something supernatural.  Well friends...this is what I am feeling right now. As i sit here at work living, breathing, with cells creating, and neurons firing...I know there is a God bigger than me watching me...and marveling at his creation.

A lot of people do not know this, but over my lifetime I have went through many different belief patterns. When you have such a curious and technical mind it is VERY easy to question everything. I grew up in church...but I always questioned what I saw...I always wondered why certain things did not line up. And I still do. I went through a period where I could not understand a God that would allow me to go through so much pain. I couldnt trust a god that would let me suffer. So there were times when I went my own way...I did everything I could to make myswelf feel independent from this God that I felt was not living up to what I thought he should be. But, it didnt work. You can only ignore your soul for so long before you are deafened by its screaming. I know quite a few people who are atheist or believe in some version of its principles. And, quite frankly I understand some of their arguments. But I can 100% say that I ONLY feel complete when I acknowledge God in my life. True freedom (for me) lies in God. Period.

And many people will find that until they acknowledge that voice within them that is demanding attention....they will always be uncomfortable. They will never feel complete. That voice will not go away...and even though you try to ignore it...your heart is listening and waiting for you to make up your mind to respond.

Comme ci, Comme ca.

Today was comme ci, comme ca, which in french means, "so-so." I woke up around noon , got ready, kissed Dinah n Velte, and left the house to face a long day. My Med-surg class started at 2:30pm, ended at 4:50 pm, and sucked the life out of me. Then, I headed to Chipolte for my burrito crack bowl. Once at work around 5:15, I scarfed down my food and then sat around until the beginning of my shift at 7:00pm. We had an admission within the 1st hour, but that is really the only running around Ive done...so far at least. I've been grudgingly snuggled up with my med surg book at the HUCs desk engaving the nursing manangement of gastrointestinal problems into my mind, body, n soul. ::SIGH:: Im pretty exhausted and I dont get off work until 7am. Then, I will sleep for about 4 hrs before getting back up to go to school and get my patient assignment for wednesday. Im even MORE exhausted just thinking about that. Sleep why have you forsaken me?!

At least I had Chipolte today....And, Im working on my next big project: to convince my husband that a kitten is exactly what I need for Valentines day...with a red/pink bow just to make it official. We shall see how that works out, lol. My brain is fried with the doctrine of nursing and my heart is yearning for a kitten. Thats the recipe for some really weird dreams. Ya know, when/if I actually get a chance to have active REM sleep.


Nurse Kitty...lol, yea...Im THAT tired.

-Kelley